A little bit of a different post today because I feel like writing about this. I always like to be quite open on my blog, but sometimes I struggle with it as I know many strangers read it…however, I’m going to be talking about a little something called confidence. This post is going to be a little bit here, there and everywhere but please excuse that, it’s a hard topic to talk about!
Ever since I started school at the age of just four years old, my confidence gradually dropped to zero. I’ve never had the best time in the education system because of my intense anxieties and it never really catered for them unfortunately, which then led my self confidence to drop. Why am I different to everybody else? Is there something wrong with me? Everyday has been a struggle. To have no confidence at such a young age is personally heartbreaking; to have this carry on, is worse. My confidence was low most of the time because of the anxiety, paranoia and constant stress; this carried on until my teenage years, which I’m still living now at 17. I think being surrounded by shit friends for years on end and having my own mind going against me triggered my lack in confidence…it’s hard ay.
Right now I’m at a really good place. I mean, the anxiety is definitely still there, but my confidence has grew MASSIVELY in the past year. Starting my blog helped me so much with my confidence, despite having the constant worries of what people thought. But you know what? Fuck what people think. I am so over what others think of me and I’m incredibly happy I’ve finally accepted that ❤️ It was hard at the start, with still being in school and having people snidely comment on it, but who cares? I’ve learnt to do what makes me happy and to block out anybody who has a problem with that.
This topic of confidence sorta relates to other aspects of my life too. For example, I will wear what I want to wear. A few years back I would have been too self-conscious and unsure whether I’d be accepted, so I stuck to the mainstream fashion trend and hoped I fitted in. However, with me being me, it probably wasn’t enough to completely fit in anyway. I should have been true to myself and not let my anxiety or lack of confidence get in the way. Whoever you are, you’re beautiful and you should wear what you want to wear with pride! It’s easier said than done but trust me, living life worrying about other people is not the way- being yourself is the key to happiness. The same for body confidence, once you have accepted yourself and start to love yourself, you’ll see a huge change. Even if you need a little bit of help with that and the process, THATS PERFECTLY OKAY LOVELIES.
Starting college has helped my confidence blossom too, doing something I actually enjoy with so much support has been just lovely. I need to mention, I am surrounded by the most amazing friends I met there right now and I love them to pieces. They are why my confidence is growing more and more each day. Thank you gals, you’re the best ❤️ My boyfriend too has a huge place in my heart, he builds me up every single day and I literally cannot thank him enough- he’s an angel. Charlie is my favourite person in the world and he is one of the main reasons for the positive changes in my life. Having just a few close, beautiful (inside and out) best friends is so important and I’m the luckiest girl to have them, as well as my incredible family. Being around people who you can be yourself with and not hold back any of your unique, amazing personality traits WILL make you a confident individual and help you flourish.
I wanted to share my personal journey surrounding confidence to help some of you out there who struggle with acceptance and who may find it difficult to be themselves. Even after around fifteen years of having the lowest self-esteem, it got better. You’re not alone and there’s so many people out there you can talk to about this- including me! Do not hesitate to message me for a lil chat about this or anything else whenever you want (email: firstname.lastname@example.org and Instagram: cade.lauren)- if we all stick by each other, and are NICE to each other, the world will be a happier place.
I’m sorry if this post is a little bit all over the place, but I like to open up now and again about life and it’s difficulties that everybody may face. This didn’t even cover half of it (I’d be sat all day), but talking about confidence has deffo helped myself and hopefully some of you lovely people ❤️
Have a great Sunday and I love you all.